As an AuDHD child, my innate need to push authoritative boundaries by questioning rules established limitations in my practice. “Because I said so” was not enough to sate the desire for understanding. To avoid being labelled disobedient, I aimed to not break the rules and though maybe a bit arrogant, my pursuit of praise from these figures instilled a need to be perfect.
I traded state education expectations to instead create art based on my favorite fantasy novels or spontaneity.
I traded school provided art supplies for my own, that I can use without the fear of material waste trying to fix every minute flaw only apparent to myself.
I traded mediums I never enjoyed for oil paint and graphite, allowing me to further hone my talents.
I traded being forced to focus on a singular project in order to meet a deadline to instead spread my attention to whatever holds my interest.
I make art in pursuit of self satisfaction through advancing my own skills, like bringing a photo to life through photorealism or trying out a visual language, without the pressure of striving for approval. The need for understanding and perfection that once limited me is now the thing that allows me to regain control of my creativity with the freedom to explore.
